my excuse for not blogging

once again i have failed at keeping up with my blog. although, since no one really reads it i don't feel too bad. i do have a legitimate excuse for not blogging. i do not have cable nor internet at my new apartment.

i really enjoy not having cable or internet. i have resulted in watching TV on DVD. i am currently watching Reba. my lovely roommate has all seasons so we have been watching Reba & Harry Potter.
on another note, i have found a new job! it's at a doc in the box type clinic. i started yesterday & i had reality check after i got off work. i will be working four days a week 10-11 hours a day & it really hit me last night when i got off late & i had some where to be. i will learn to adjust & learn that it is ok to be late sometimes. the Lord has blessed me with this job so i will trust that everything will work out in His will.

ps i will be posting pics of the apartment soon.

awakening please.

this past weekend i got to escape to the beach for a retreat.
i really enjoyed spending time with the other young adults that went from my church. we had a great time bonding and getting to know each other more than ever.

the Lord really woke me up this weekend. some of the people in the other group that we were with decided to watch some scary movies this weekend. that really spoke to me because i realized that these people really don't understand the love of God & how much these movies can really affect them. while they were watching one of the movies in the living room of the girls' room, i went out onto the balcony & just prayed & worshiped. praying for us to get it; to accept His love for us. my heart was broken.

"The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes are bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!"
Matthew 6:22-23

purity is such a big part of my life. i strive for purity. my heart is burdened for purity of this nation and for my generation. we need an awakening. it's an urgency that we need in our hearts once again. this is my prayer.completely random but i love this picture.

i am currently watching one of my favorite shows, Psych. If you haven't seen it, you need to watch it from the beginning. It's about a guy named Sean who is a "psychic detective." we all know that this position does not exist. he was raised to be more observant than the average person. it's hilarious. go watch it.

august.

i have come to a habit of updating once a month. i need to change this.

here is what happened in August:
my grandmother turned 85! she is slowly declining in her health but she made it to her birthday. she is truly on of my heroes.
i tried to upload a video of my two aunts playing the piano but it's not working so i will keep trying later.

my heart

so the last couple of days i have been listening to Jonathan David Helser. He is a musician who loves the Lord. the last couple of weeks i have been unsteady & restless in my walk with the Lord. i have become complacent once again & it has to stop. my heart still yearns for God & His presence but my actions do not show the same thing.

there is a song called "Likeness of Jesus" that JDH sings. it's a song that i love to hear because it is prayer of mine. i don't know all the lyrics so you will just have to go listen to it yourself.

recently, i went to visit my dad's side of the family. my grandmother is basically dying but i know that she is going home soon so i'm not too worried. i was very happy to see her before she goes. anyways, as i was visiting i realized that i just didn't fit in. i long for purity more than anything in this world with everything i do. it is hard to do at times but it is something i long for.
my sister & i went to church with my dad & the verse that struck my mind was in Matthew.

Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.
Matthew 5:8

it's been in my mind all week. also, having child like faith has been on my heart all week.

i think the Lord is trying to tell me something...

the question is if i will open my heart & ears to hear Him. i will. Will you?

it was a crazy week at work. sometimes i wonder why i still work there.
the best part about it is this: we have two cake decorators & one of them is a Christian. We talk about the Lord all the time. the other decorator is Guatemalan. i don't know what she believes but she requested to listen to Kari Jobe's, No Sweeter Name in Spanish. so we listened to it at least three times yesterday at work on the other decorator's iphone. how wonderful is that?!

it made my week after all the crazy things that happened. the Lord is good.

i started to clean & organize my room today and i came across some notes from a Song of Solomon study i was apart of in college. Here is one thing i wrote down:

"Quit negotiating when you are in God's presence, let Him like you."

it was so good to read that this morning. those words are not mine. i could not get those words out of my head all day today. "let Him like you." i am replacing the word "like" with the word "love."

"Quit negotiating when you are in God's presence, let Him love you."

Let Him love on you. i don't know how many times i do not allow Him to love on me. usually pray for myself or for others & not rest in His presence. i have to remind myself to just relax in His presence. it so good to be rest & feel His peace when i do that.

a challenge to those who read this. relax in His presence, enjoy His presence during your quiet/devotion time, allow His peace to flow through you. it's a wonderful feeling i promise.

i am challenging myself since i don't get to take the advantage to be myself when i can.

good night friends. i pray blessings & wonderful dreams to you all.