so, my really good friend marc showed me this book in B&N last week called The Barbarian Way by Erwin Raphael McManus. i bought it and just started reading it yesterday. for what i have read so far has been a new outlook on life for me.
"To belong to God is to belong to His heart."
i have never thought about this. i want to know God's heart and what He feels but never really thought of belonging to Him. i don't know why i haven't thought of it before because i want to be accepted by Him and i am accepted by Him.
i just read this passage from the book and i want to share it with you:
"He is not calling you to the same life that everyone else will live. He's not even calling you to the same path that every follower of Christ will walk. You life is unique before God, and you path is yours and yours alone. Where God will choose to lead you and how God chooses to use your life cannot be predicted by how God has worked in the lives of others before you."
wow. i think this says it all about how we want to live our lives. how we see others' lives being fulfilled by the Lord's Will and we want that. we will have it but in a different way. this was good for me to read and be reminded again.
my desire for the Lord is growing more again. thank you Lord.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
the walls
last night after the basement i went out to eat with one of my new friends. the Lord has definitely has His will already in our friendship. we desire the same things and our vision for our church is pretty much the same. last night we talked about the walls we have had up that have mainly been up towards boys in general. both of our parents have been divorced and she has seen how a marriage can fail more than once. i told her not only have i put up walls towards guys but towards people in general. it's hard to let your heart out when it's been hurt multiple times but the greatest thing she said last night was that our Father has our hearts. we need to open it up to Him more than others. it was so good to hear that again.
something i shared with her is something that i have learned in the last couple of weeks/months. after talking about being on Commitment and not dating we both know that we aren't suppose to be one of those people. however, i know i'm not supposed to do that but my commitment while being single is this :"Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit" (1 Cor. 7:34). i want know what that feels like and what that looks like. this helps me to rely on the Lord. I can't wait to see what will happen as i pursue this desire. i strive for the purity that God's love gives us. i want to be pure for my Father, not saying i won't mess up b/c i already have and will continue to mess up but the mercy, the grace, and the love He gives takes it all away.
Thank You Lord.
something i shared with her is something that i have learned in the last couple of weeks/months. after talking about being on Commitment and not dating we both know that we aren't suppose to be one of those people. however, i know i'm not supposed to do that but my commitment while being single is this :"Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit" (1 Cor. 7:34). i want know what that feels like and what that looks like. this helps me to rely on the Lord. I can't wait to see what will happen as i pursue this desire. i strive for the purity that God's love gives us. i want to be pure for my Father, not saying i won't mess up b/c i already have and will continue to mess up but the mercy, the grace, and the love He gives takes it all away.
Thank You Lord.
Monday, May 18, 2009
the beach
some of my favorite pictures:
Old Time Pottery
view from the Original Oyster House
:
the beach
cute little bird:
Old Time Pottery
view from the Original Oyster House
:the beach
cute little bird:
college
as i look back on my four years in Tuscaloosa, i realized i should have posted this a couple of weeks ago.
i went to my last THOP as a college student a few weeks ago. i sat there as we prayed and worshiped individually that this place is where it all started. THOP is where i truly decided to fully follow Jesus, my sophomore year. this is the place where i surrendered my heart to Him. i have not deserved the love that He gives but i gladly accept it everyday when i think about it. i have endured hardships with friends as i have grown with my Savior but it has been so worth it. i thank God for letting me say "yes" to Him. i don't know what the future holds and yes, i'm scared but i know that whatever decision is made it's because my Daddy tells me to make it and that i am secured wherever i go. by surrendering that year at THOP, my time in Tuscaloosa has been wonderful. i am so glad that i can be one of those who can say that. most people can't say that. the Lord is moving in Tuscaloosa. I have learned so much by being surounded by others who are crazy for the Lord. i have been so blessed to find them. there is so much more i can say but i spare whoever reads this. you can always ask me if you want to know more.
i have been so 'drunk' from/by the world lately. consumed by the world. i haven't been able to make time for my quiet time. it makes me sad. i am not where i want to be in my walk with the Lord but i am learning what it means to be content where i am right now in this present time. i need to be more disciplined in my walk and i am going to strive for more. i need the desperation once again. i love the desire in wanting more and my heart still desires for HIM. the Love that HE gives me daily.
my future is unclear but i like it that way. i like being led by the Holy Spirit for my future. most people do not understand that and sometimes i can't explain that to them. i'm alright with that but it does aggrevate me that they do not realize that i do think about the future, i do think about getting a job, i do think about getting my master's degree but i refuse to do what man wants me to do.
Prayer room:
"be their fire(2x)
all consuming fire (2x)"
"set them ablaze(3x)
with the fire of your love"
my thoughts are all over the place right now.. i have to stop writing before i go all over the place.
night!
i'm excited for this summer and what God is going to do in my life!
i went to my last THOP as a college student a few weeks ago. i sat there as we prayed and worshiped individually that this place is where it all started. THOP is where i truly decided to fully follow Jesus, my sophomore year. this is the place where i surrendered my heart to Him. i have not deserved the love that He gives but i gladly accept it everyday when i think about it. i have endured hardships with friends as i have grown with my Savior but it has been so worth it. i thank God for letting me say "yes" to Him. i don't know what the future holds and yes, i'm scared but i know that whatever decision is made it's because my Daddy tells me to make it and that i am secured wherever i go. by surrendering that year at THOP, my time in Tuscaloosa has been wonderful. i am so glad that i can be one of those who can say that. most people can't say that. the Lord is moving in Tuscaloosa. I have learned so much by being surounded by others who are crazy for the Lord. i have been so blessed to find them. there is so much more i can say but i spare whoever reads this. you can always ask me if you want to know more.
i have been so 'drunk' from/by the world lately. consumed by the world. i haven't been able to make time for my quiet time. it makes me sad. i am not where i want to be in my walk with the Lord but i am learning what it means to be content where i am right now in this present time. i need to be more disciplined in my walk and i am going to strive for more. i need the desperation once again. i love the desire in wanting more and my heart still desires for HIM. the Love that HE gives me daily.
my future is unclear but i like it that way. i like being led by the Holy Spirit for my future. most people do not understand that and sometimes i can't explain that to them. i'm alright with that but it does aggrevate me that they do not realize that i do think about the future, i do think about getting a job, i do think about getting my master's degree but i refuse to do what man wants me to do.
Prayer room:
"be their fire(2x)
all consuming fire (2x)"
"set them ablaze(3x)
with the fire of your love"
my thoughts are all over the place right now.. i have to stop writing before i go all over the place.
night!
i'm excited for this summer and what God is going to do in my life!
Friday, May 15, 2009
Thursday, May 14, 2009
May... so far
May 1-3: SYNC Retreat.
- It was wonderful. i got to hang out with some cool folks from my church. we had great bonding time in the van. met some cool people from West Virginia. hopefully we will stay connected!
May 9: GRADUATION!
- I graduated college with a Bachelors in Social Work. the school of social work took up a row and four seats. 20 students. love it! at least we can say that we will stay in touch and had a great time in college since we got to know everyone in our college.
-moved out of my apartment. that was a bummer... i now live back at home & it's a mess with all of my stuff!
May 10-14: BEACH!
-i just got back from the beach today! i'm so tan! it's wonderful. i relaxed and after a while i didn't know what to do since i'm not used to relaxing for more than maybe two hours. i love being busy so i stay busy. this was a good get away with friends.
pictures will come later after i get back from Houston for the weekend.
my sister's engagement photo:
- It was wonderful. i got to hang out with some cool folks from my church. we had great bonding time in the van. met some cool people from West Virginia. hopefully we will stay connected!
May 9: GRADUATION!
- I graduated college with a Bachelors in Social Work. the school of social work took up a row and four seats. 20 students. love it! at least we can say that we will stay in touch and had a great time in college since we got to know everyone in our college.
-moved out of my apartment. that was a bummer... i now live back at home & it's a mess with all of my stuff!
May 10-14: BEACH!
-i just got back from the beach today! i'm so tan! it's wonderful. i relaxed and after a while i didn't know what to do since i'm not used to relaxing for more than maybe two hours. i love being busy so i stay busy. this was a good get away with friends.
pictures will come later after i get back from Houston for the weekend.
my sister's engagement photo:
Friday, May 1, 2009
Love Me
a poem from Deep Unto Deep by Dana Candler:
"Love Me"
But why? But how? How is it that He loves me?
How is it that the King, the Creator, the Beautiful and the Mighty
Has vowed to love and adore me? How can it be so?
And I so dirty... I so unlovely... I so dark.
And Him so pure... Him so Fair... Him so good... How is it so?
Jesus, I do not understand. Jesus, what have You done?
It is too much. It is too great a thing... for one so undeserving.
Yet even in this You delight. You love me in my weakness.
You love me in my helplessness.
You do not ask me to be strong.
You do not ask me to first be deserving.
For I shall never deserve such a love.
It is based not on my deserving. It is based not on my earnings.
All that I could ever do would never be enough.
It would never cause my heart to be found worthy.
And you delight in it to be this way.
You cause my attempts to be found empty and my strivings to end dry.
For never will You love me for them.
Your love for me is too rich and too great to be bought at so low a price.
It is a love I could never afford, nor am asked to pay a penny for.
It is mine. Freely it is mine. Given as a free gift.
What all the kings and princes of the world could not afford,
You have banded to my little heart.
What love is this, my Jesus, and why do You love me?
Oh, why have You cast Your riches and Your wealth
to such a souls as mine?
If I had the strength I would say,
"Please... for justice's sake... love another."
But I cannot say such words. A fool I would be to turn You away.
Love me then, oh Perfect King. Love the poor and dirty.
Love the one who cannot earn nor pay. Love the despised and rejected.
Love one who can bring You nothing except the tears of a lovesick heart.
Love me. For I cannot turn You away. I cannot deny such love
Love me then, my Jesus. As you have vowed love and adore little me...
"Love Me"
But why? But how? How is it that He loves me?
How is it that the King, the Creator, the Beautiful and the Mighty
Has vowed to love and adore me? How can it be so?
And I so dirty... I so unlovely... I so dark.
And Him so pure... Him so Fair... Him so good... How is it so?
Jesus, I do not understand. Jesus, what have You done?
It is too much. It is too great a thing... for one so undeserving.
Yet even in this You delight. You love me in my weakness.
You love me in my helplessness.
You do not ask me to be strong.
You do not ask me to first be deserving.
For I shall never deserve such a love.
It is based not on my deserving. It is based not on my earnings.
All that I could ever do would never be enough.
It would never cause my heart to be found worthy.
And you delight in it to be this way.
You cause my attempts to be found empty and my strivings to end dry.
For never will You love me for them.
Your love for me is too rich and too great to be bought at so low a price.
It is a love I could never afford, nor am asked to pay a penny for.
It is mine. Freely it is mine. Given as a free gift.
What all the kings and princes of the world could not afford,
You have banded to my little heart.
What love is this, my Jesus, and why do You love me?
Oh, why have You cast Your riches and Your wealth
to such a souls as mine?
If I had the strength I would say,
"Please... for justice's sake... love another."
But I cannot say such words. A fool I would be to turn You away.
Love me then, oh Perfect King. Love the poor and dirty.
Love the one who cannot earn nor pay. Love the despised and rejected.
Love one who can bring You nothing except the tears of a lovesick heart.
Love me. For I cannot turn You away. I cannot deny such love
Love me then, my Jesus. As you have vowed love and adore little me...
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